


an enamored boss and her assistant: both of which are complete idiots

by kerrykins



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 23:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18082730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerrykins/pseuds/kerrykins
Summary: Andy has a confession to make. Did she expect this to happen? Hell fucking no, but she's sure glad it did.





	an enamored boss and her assistant: both of which are complete idiots

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from an anon on Tumblr: Love Confessor (Character A confessing their love for Character B to Character C) & Everybody Knows/Mistaken for Couple

“Nigel, you gotta help me.” Andy pleaded with him urgently, knowing she probably sounded hysterical. This was an unbelievably stupid idea, but it was too late to turn back now. Oh well, hopefully she could pass it off as nothing if Nigel flipped his shit.

 

Nigel didn’t look up from his spread, but he was frowning. Andy wasn’t sure if it was because he was concerned or annoyed. “And how exactly am I supposed to do that, Six?” He flipped through the binder, the glossy pages shining under the fluorescent lights.

 

Andy took a deep breath to ground herself, but it didn’t do anything to stop her head from spinning. “It’s about Miranda.” She didn’t say anything else, because honestly what the hell was she supposed to say? What was the best way to tell her best friend-- well, only friend-- that she hypothetically might be crushing on their boss?

 

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that,” Nigel chuckled, oblivious to the fact that Andy was two seconds away from a full-blown stroke. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but a lot of things are about Miranda. What did she do this time, blacklist Oscar de la Renta from Runway?” He chuckled to himself.

 

“No, she hasn’t done anything like that. It’s kind of a weird thing that doesn’t really involve her? But it kind of does?” Andy laughed, and it felt horrible. Yup, she was officially losing it. “Oh god, I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Andy dear,” Nigel said calmly. “If I have to ask you one more time to tell me what’s going on, I’m just going to show you out.” He pointed to the door with his pen, and Andy sighed.

 

“Okay, okay. Um.” She reminded herself that Nigel probably wasn’t going to want to tell Miranda, and that she could easily pass it off as a joke, as long as she managed to hold it together for thirty more seconds. Despite this helpful reminder, her heart was still wildly beating out of her chest. She wiped her sweaty palms on her borrowed Dolce skirt and stared down at the beige carpet.

 

“I-- I think I like Miranda.” Her voice came out small and shaky, but at least she said it. It was done. When Nigel doesn’t say anything, she hesitantly looked up at him.

 

Nigel didn’t look shocked, or horrified. He looked amused. “I know already.” Then his eyes widened. “Oh! Are you two finally going to tell everyone about your relationship?”

 

“R-r-r-relationship?” Andy managed to sputter, absolutely incredulous. Her heart, which was steadily racing at the speed of light, had fucking leapt off a cliff. She didn’t blame it, because honestly, what a crazy turn of events.

 

“You heard me, Six. Whoo!” He pumped a fist in the air triumphantly. “I cannot wait to see Emily and Serena’s faces when I tell them that I won the bet.”

 

“What bet?” Andy was pretty sure her eyes are bugging out of her head. Out of all the ways that could have gone, this was  _ not _  what she had been expecting. What the fresh hell was happening?

 

Nigel was laughing still, and he wiped a tear from his eye. “Oh my god, this is great. You see, I knew from the start that you two had chemistry. Serena agreed, but she thought that you’d never get together. Emily said she doesn’t think anything is happening between you two.” He clapped his hands together in anticipation. “You’re looking at a man that is two hundred bucks richer than he was five minutes ago.”

 

“T-two hundred?” Okay, so not only had her coworkers thought that she and Miranda were seeing each other, but they’d also bet money on it? “I don’t understand.”

 

Nigel’s face sombered slightly. “Ah, yes. You said something about you two having trouble? Never fear, your fairy godmother and now relationship counselor is here to the rescue.”

 

“We’re not dating,” Andy said as fervently as she could. Last thing she needed was Nigel spreading rumours around that she and Miranda were-- involved with each other. Nigel raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “You’re kidding.”

 

“Nope. Miranda doesn’t know how I feel about her.” Andy wished she wasn’t kidding, that she could truthfully say that they were together. A girl could dream, right?

 

He frowned. “Oh. So I’m assuming that I haven’t won the bet, then.” Nigel sighed. Andy still couldn’t get her head around the fact that her friends had thought that Miranda would even consider a relationship with her. For starters, Miranda was solely attracted to men-- well, she was pretty sure, anyways.

 

Even if she was, Miranda was her still her boss, and a lot older than she was. Not to mention kinda famous, rich, and a little scary. This didn’t deter Andy from caring about her though, and she’d known for a while that it wasn’t normal for an assistant, or even a friend, to think about Miranda as often as she did.

 

At first it had just been just a job, but following the events of Paris, she’d developed a sort of soft spot for Miranda. She deserved better than those shitty husbands, with their whack ass divorce papers and girlfriends-- like seriously, what kind of mentally sane person would have the audacity to cheat on Miranda Priestly?

 

Anyways, she’d started noticing little things about Miranda, from the way she’d always play with her glasses under her chin (which was actually adorable), and the way her eyes sparkled whenever she was trying not to laugh at something. Not to mention she just really smoking hot, like with that hair, and her voice, and those gorgeous legs, like  _ oh my god _ \-- but that was just one of the many reasons why Andy was so drawn to her.

 

Andy knew how miserable Miranda really was, and considering how efficient of an assistant she was, how adept she was at anticipating Miranda’s whims, she’d one day thought to herself that she could probably make Miranda happier than any of her husbands could. The realisation had hit her like a bus, how much she wanted to give Miranda that.

 

“Wait,” Nigel said, breaking Andy away from her thoughts. “If you’re not dating, then why did Miranda say--” His eyebrows shot up impossibly. “Sweet Jesus.”

 

“What? What is it?” Andy was panicked, because Nigel was grinning now. That was never a good sign.

 

There was a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Dear, follow me if you want to find out.” Well, that was oddly cryptic, Andy thought. But she’d really like to get some goddamn answers, and if she had to follow Nigel into hell itself to get them, she would.

 

___

 

When Andy realised that they were heading towards Miranda’s office, she immediately turned to go back. Nope, nope, big fucking nope. This was it. She was a goner. She’d be blackballed from every publication on the face of the Earth because she’d been foolish enough to tell someone about some dumbass crush on her boss.

 

Nigel tsked, patting her arm. “Dear, you can do that once we get this settled. Stop acting like I’m dragging you off to the guillotine.” Though Andy was pretty sure no head chopping was going to happen-- blood would stain the carpet and Miranda would freak-- she might as well start writing her last will and testament. Well, thinking it up at least.

 

She supposed she’d give most of her personal belongings to her parents, and let Emily take all her the designer clothes. The rest would be given to Nate. Andy knew that he had meant to bring the toaster and popcorn machine with him when he left, but she didn’t bother telling him about it. It was one hell of a toaster, and she hadn’t exactly been willing to part with the only appliance in the house that didn’t scorch her bread. And oops, her will would have to be postponed to never, because they were getting way too close to Miranda’s office now.

 

Emily was furiously typing away, and using all kinds of British swears that Andy had never heard before. Serena was in her usual spot, leaning on the desk and laughing at Emily. When they say Nigel approaching, dragging Andy by one arm, they exchanged looks that Andy knew were questioning.

 

Nigel grinned as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “Don’t mind me. I’m just someone that you two owe two hundred dollars.”

 

“Oh, please,” Emily scoffed, rolling her eyes. “There’s no way.”

 

“You’re going to feel very foolish in ten minutes,” was Nigel’s wry reply. “Now as much as I’d love to stay and chat with you lovely ladies, Six and I have some business to attend to with our Queen Bee.”

 

As he led her away, Andy groaned. “Why do you have to say things like that?”

 

“Because I want to, Six,” he said patiently. Miranda’s doors were closed, which wasn’t a good sign. She only had the doors shut if she was firing someone, on the phone with her legal team, or in an outrageously bad mood. Andy noticed Nigel hesitated before pushing the doors open.

 

As always, Andy’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of Miranda. The editor was sitting at her desk, lip curled into a disdainful sneer as she glared over proofs. When the door opened, she looked at them over her reading glasses, an eyebrow arched. “What?” Miranda’s eyes darted from Andy to Nigel, and back at Andy again. “Care to explain what you two are doing in my office? If this isn’t about the Miami shoot, get out.”

 

Andy opened her mouth to say something, then realised that she still had no fucking clue what she was doing here.

 

“Sure thing, Miranda,” Nigel said. “You see, a little birdie told me that she had some kind of crush.” Andy winced but before she could interject, Miranda was already on her feet, her face pale. “Nigel, you didn’t.” Her eyes narrowed. “There will be consequences for this, I swear to God, if you so much as uttered a word about it, I’ll--”

 

“No, not yet,” he said neutrally, his face giving nothing away. “Why don’t you have a seat so I can explain?” Shockingly, Miranda did as she was told without protest. Nigel glanced at Andy. “You too, Six.” Her heart racing, Andy took one of the seats at the desk. She and Miranda locked eyes, and to her surprise, Miranda gave her a tight-lipped smile. Andy’s face heated up, and felt herself grinning back like an idiot.

 

“So, Six,” Nigel began. “I’m going to assume that you miraculously haven’t picked up on the rumours floating around the office about you and Miranda.” Andy shook her head wordlessly. It really was shocking that she’d really had no idea about it, all things considered. Then again, all Runway employees had mastered the art of gossip, and were incredibly adept at keeping rumours from prying ears. Mainly Miranda.

 

“But obviously, you know now,” he continued. Miranda looked like she wanted to say something, but Nigel shushed her, not even deigning to glance in her direction before talking again. The glare he received was murderous, and Andy bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. “There’s one little detail, though, that you’re not aware of.”

 

“Nigel, this is ridiculous,” Miranda hissed, and Andy noticed a faint blush rising on her cheeks. “Today is a very busy day.”

 

“The runthrough isn’t for another hour and a half,” Nigel countered. “We’ll be just fine, as long as you don’t keep interrupting me.” At this, Miranda made some kind of outraged noise. “Now, where was I? Oh yes. Miranda confirmed one of the rumours that you were romantically involved over drinks a couple nights ago.”

 

Andy stared at him, because honestly, he shouldn’t joke about something like that right in front of Miranda, in her office.

 

“I did nothing of the sort,” Miranda snarled, and Andy flinched. “You got me drunk on purpose, I know that. Trying to weasel information out of me.” She huffed. “Why, I don’t even recall telling you that.” Her voice was breathless, panicked, and Andy had never heard her sound like that before.

 

Miranda looked at Andy as if seeing her for the first time, desperately. “Really, I didn’t. All I told him was that I wish the rumours were true, I never confirmed them, why--” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god.”

 

“Well, there you have it folks,” Nigel chuckled, shaking his head. “Cat’s out of the bag now.”

 

“Oh my god,” Miranda repeated, and buried her face in her hands. “I cannot believe I just--”

 

_ Oh my god, _  was all Andy could think.  _ Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. _  Did this mean Miranda liked her too? There was no way. This had to be a dream, or maybe someone had slipped some kind of hallucinogens in her salad this morning.

 

“Well, I’ll give you two some alone time,” Nigel said. Andy barely heard him, or registered the fact that he had left.

 

“Miranda, it’s okay,” Andy tried to tell her, but the editor chuckled bitterly through her hands. “No, it’s not, Andrea. I’ll be reported for inappropriate conduct, and you’ll quit, and everything’s ruined.”

 

“Quit? What are you talking about, I’m not going anywhere,” Andy said, offended that Miranda would even think she was capable of doing something like that. Did she really believe that Andy would just leave her, after hearing that, after everything she’s done for Miranda, and was still willing to do?

 

“What do you mean? How could you possibly still want to stay, after hearing that? Good heavens, this is humiliating. Perhaps I should just fire you, that’ll save me some embarrassment.”

 

“No, please don’t. What makes you think I wouldn’t want to stay?”

 

“Because I’ve been overwhelmingly unprofessional, and making unwanted advances.”

 

Andy’s heart was hammering again. Her doctor was going to throw a fit the next time he took her blood pressure. “Well, who said they were unwanted?”

 

She knew she shouldn’t do this, but she reached out and removed Miranda’s hands from her face. They were remarkably soft and warm, for someone so often called the Snow Queen. Miranda gasped a little, and even though Andy had lowered her hands, she didn’t let go.

 

“Andrea,” she said, and Andy kissed her.

 

She tasted like coffee, and Andy tried her best not to cry when Miranda laid her hand on her shoulder, drawing her closer.

 

“Serena. Emily.” Andy could hear Nigel say smugly from outside. “I can say with confidence that I’ve won the bet.”


End file.
